A little whisper in the dark

Sometimes you just slip up. Make the mistake. But when I think back upon it, did I make a mistake?

Maybe not.

Last night I let slip some of my irritation about a turn of events which I wasn't agreeable about, but given the circumstances there wasn't much choice but to compromise. And offended someone I hold dear to my heart. Of course, a decision had to be made, and I made it, literally on my feet, and in situations like that I tend to make curt replies and such. Obviously not good in phone etiquette.

I'd never want to be known as a facetitious person, nor a hypocrite. Feedback might not always be nice, and this time it wasn't. My feedback ruffled enough feathers it was highlighted back to me. In a way, I'm glad. the truth may hurt, but it is better than putting on a false front.

I don't look upon myself losing ground by showing who and what I really am; rather we've gained a better mutual understanding of each other's differences.

That's the silver lining in this grey cloud.

posted by Chung Leong @ 4:58 PM 0 comments

A nice rhyming phrase:

Some Men Need 2 Women. Some need alcohol. Everyone needs a little something but lord i need it ALL

posted by Chung Leong @ 5:01 PM 0 comments

How come instant noodles aren't that instant?

3 minutes is what they claim; but you spend twice the amount of time to find the darned packet, boil the water and FINALLY that 3 minute timer starts.

Guess no one bothered to read the fine print huh?

posted by Chung Leong @ 1:01 PM 0 comments

I blog in a haze of caffeine-induced consciousness right now.

A simple quote for today:

Pain is just weakness leaving the body.

posted by Chung Leong @ 6:02 AM 0 comments

My childhood wasn't much. No, I didn't have a rough childhood, I didn't have a lack of toys (though you had to work really hard and do well for exams to get them) but notables from those days, not much. You could say I led a sheltered life. Wake up, go to school, stay out of trouble, go home. Not much in the way of bonding or creating mischief, having a group of accomplices and all that. My mom wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Getting called up out of the blue by my primary school form teacher got me into a heap of trouble even though it was a routine call to tell me to buck up a bit at school.

As I got older, and yes I am older now, my own life is mine. I've learned to fight for what I want. The only thing I needed to fight for as a kid was grades. The rewards, my parents provided.

I fought to make sure I got the final project I wanted to do. I did my best to get the idustrial attachment slot and job nature I wanted. Doing my best to get the girl I like. I've seen some of the people around me fall into a apathy that resigns them to whatever fate throws at them. In some small way, I know what I want, which is why I have something to work toward.

I'm going to be the driver of my own car, and though I'm going to listen to advice from the co-driver, I'm not jumping when he says so, and dancing when he wants a show.

posted by Chung Leong @ 5:59 AM 0 comments

I had the opportunity to try the 2003 Shimano XTR group today. For the un-initiated (to the world of mountain biking) that's a set of components that make up a bike (the other part is the bike frame itself).

I haven't had to deal with change for a while. Not something as simple and straightforward as biking. But change the bike industry juggernaut that is Shimano has dictated upon us means we are faced with the possibility of changing the way gears are shifted. Is it because I've been set in my ways that I do not feel comfortable? There are truthfully advantages in changing but are they a net gain in overall performance? Gotta wait and see.

At this point of time what used to be fluid and instinctual is awkward and conscious. That I do know.

Life deals us the same situation every now and then. I suppose those who can cope and adapt quick enough are the real winners.

posted by Chung Leong @ 4:11 AM 0 comments

The Way Home is a poignant Korean movie about how the young generation does not understand the older generation's train of thought, well-meaning gestures, which are scoffed at. And when they finally do, they are either at odds as to how to show it without hurting their own egos, or end up showing it too late.

The show is about a little boy and his aged grandmother. The contrast for the sake of the silver screen is stark and extreme so that the point is not lost. To a lesser extreme most of us are either in the stage where we are more of the little boy than of the grandmother (as far as I can guess of the viewers of this site). It is all too easy to dismiss parents' advice, cautions and reminders writing them off as being old fashioned, less worldly and less educated.

Highly recommended reality check for young people everywhere.

The Official Web Site

English Synopsis

posted by Chung Leong @ 3:26 AM 0 comments

The culmination of three year's worth of design projects, sketches, and plans are finally zipped up into my not-so-little A2 size portfolio to be submitted later on for judging by potential Landscape Design companies. There's more people than slots to go around, and so let's see who gets what.

Being a little better vocationally qualified than most is a two edged sword, I wonder if the lecturers decide I'm better used in more hands-on and menial jobs, which is the negative side, or, on the other side of the coin, being better qualified for those means I might be able to get a choice assignment should I fail to get my desired LD slot.

A silver lining in every cloud, so they say. So far not much trouble finding one, no matter how svelte it is. Perhaps I've fallen so low, there had been no way to go but up. Collapsing would've been rather awful for such a young age. All around me there are people that cannot cope with failure be it in love work or play, yet put up a false front and grin about it. Probably I have a knack in finding that littlest lining of silver, and convincing myself that there something good in it.

In failure, you learn a lesson. Those who fail to learn from defeat are doomed to repeat it.
In disappointment, you learn not to expect too much.
Live life to the fullest.
Live with no regrets.
Don't rue what could've should've would've been
Just make it right the next time around.

posted by Chung Leong @ 3:59 AM 0 comments

Such trying times we live in.

As if to be the final test of our solidarity as the 3rd batch of graduating HLM students, we are faced with problems not entirely of our own doing but which we nevertheless have to surmount. Get it right, stick together as one, and we could leave an epitaph worthy of mention. Get it wrong and we're collectively down the gutter, so to speak.

So far, things do not look good. The word is that certain people are avoiding other people. People get touchy over certain words and I am first to test the limits today. Note to self to keep my mouth shut about things like that. And the word spreads so fast the whole department is poised to descend upon CDC to make sure they don't have it.

As far as I'm concerned, its really a Chinese firedrill, pardon the racist connotations, but I spend so much time in the same room with them and I'm ok. Enough said. Anyway the people that are affected are on medication and things should be under control.

The people that make up HLM 3rd year have always been a group made up of smaller cliques. Let's see whether this experience draws us together or tears us apart? The world and I wait with bated breath.

posted by Chung Leong @ 1:12 AM 0 comments

Tried driving and looking out of the side window to see where you're going?

posted by Chung Leong @ 12:05 PM 0 comments

I've confronted my fear, unscathed. Thanks to some people who were understanding, and made it easy for me. That doesn't mean I would like a repeat, no.........

posted by Chung Leong @ 11:18 PM 0 comments

Confront your fears. I have to confront mine. No way to run. There's more at stake than just personal escapism. Even if it means I fall by the wayside and become the object of ridicule, its something that needs to be done.

I am not a religious person, but I do believe there's a God there. This night I pray for Him to make it easy for me......

posted by Chung Leong @ 2:26 AM 0 comments

The deadlines are piling up. I got to do something about it soon. Hope I can find the motivation to clear what I've got on my plate now. It used to be that I would leave everything to the last minute and this time I want it to be different. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither should a good project or assignment. I'm coming to grips with the website I'm building, coming along nicely, but the difficult and troublesome parts I'm avoiding. But I'll still have to come to grips with it eventually. Just like the difficult things in life.

Did a stint as an interviewer for the 2003 department Freshman Orientation, and surprisingly enjoyed it. No it wasn't because I enjoyed looking at, and having an excuse to talk to pretty girls, nor subjecting them to difficult questions to answer, but more like observation different reactions in a situation (in this case a tense one). It is after all, an interview, sometimes the mood is serious sometimes it is casual, but the little test I placed for some of the interviewees, where we the interviewers would introduce ourselves, and at the end of the interview, he/she had to remember our names, no one got all of us correct. Probably blanked out. I liked those who were on top of the situation, at ease with themselves without being overly pompous or casual, and my grading reflected the fact.

I wonder if my grading will be proven true during the course of their training......

posted by Chung Leong @ 4:34 AM 0 comments

I dreamed about finding a brownish-gray hamster yesterday night. Hmm.

posted by Chung Leong @ 11:18 AM 0 comments

The issue about problems is not the symptoms and the signs. It's about the root cause of the situation in the first place. Kill the root cause, kill the problem.

There's no particular reason or situation arising that I'd write this. Just thought it might be useful.

posted by Chung Leong @ 4:07 AM 0 comments

What is it about taking photos that make people avoid it? I've been trying to get photos of everyone for the aforementioned HLM '03 website, and it really is not easy to get them to pose, let alone take snapshots of them. That being said, I guess I should have around 70-80% of them.

Probably speaks for a lack of self confidence or self consciousness. But since having experiences on both ends of the camera has helped. I can almost disregard the camera's prescence and just go about my business, and if I am shooting I also like to be invisible to my subject. Usually I hang around long enough that they give up trying to "hide" or pose, and just do what they have to do......

posted by Chung Leong @ 3:49 AM 0 comments

Hours of looking at html script and picking out obscure words and faffing with table spacings leaves me a programming wreck. Times like this I am glad I did not stick out in Computer Studies, becoming one of dozens of programmers glued to screens looking at endless lines of code looking for one single misplaced character. What a miserable existence.

Had a very enjoyable lunch today, but what happened afterward I could've kicked myself for not cooking up some excuse to head into town. Had some stuff to do there anyway, and Gerard was itching for a coffee. Things would've fallen nicely into place. In any case, Totto Chan, the little girl at the window, is proving to be an unexpectedly good read, very vividly described, with an air of innocence which I hope the Japanese to English translation brought across accurately. I could almost see the relationship between the book and its owner.......

Maybe next time.

posted by Chung Leong @ 5:04 AM 0 comments