A little whisper in the dark: 09/01/2002

Started to work on a website for my course which graduates in June 2003. I've begun searching for pictures that document our stay in Ngee Ann, a brief stopover for most of us on our way to greater things in life. The 40 faces that made up HLM '03 Graduates. Most people would just do a class website, but since the course is only two classes big, why not. I've got friends in both classes.

To me its a form of tribute, a lasting memory of our time together, studying, sleeping in class, playing Counterstrike after classes, cheating in tests, copying homework, projects, among so many other things, that it has to be preserved in the years to come.

It almost sounds soppy to say, I'm glad I was part of it all.

What is it about alcohol that makes people like it so much? Had a few rounds of beer today, momentarily got a little light headed; that soon passed in a while. Never did like the bitter taste or the lingering sourness. The only thing is the fizzly part of the beer. But it is definitely better drunk fresh and cold than stale and piss-warm. Drinking also lossens the bladder some. Don't know why either.

The weather was just right for a nice long walk from The Heeren all the way to Raffles Place today. Not sunny (because it rained in the morning) and not wet(it stopped by then).

A pleasant little discovery of a quiet Kinokuniya bookshop branch at Liang Court: neat, quiet as a library, and still fairly well-stocked with books, and no shoppers crowding me everywhere I turn.

I do see encouraging signs with the automobile problem that I face.

Three steps forward, two steps back, maybe be a tough way to get where I want to go, but at least I'll get there. At first I am rather disappointed to suffer a backward step, but nothing is easy, and much more so if it is a worthy cause. And I've gone out on a limb already, might as well put some tenaciousness in it and follow it through. At least I won't rue this incident years down the road for giving up too early.

Never to be outdone, getting a driver's licence seems to be foremost on everyone's(in class) minds now. Some are putting in twice-a-week lessons, others are doing it once. And always talking about it. Never one to resist the opportunity to pass up the opportunity to rib the learner drivers, some of us class 3 holders are giving them a good time about still being learners.

Sure, we all were newbies once, but when our dear newbies talk about how "I'm definitely going to drive better than you" or "I'm gonna get my mom to buy a car so I can drive", and "Having cars *should* get me girls", its time for a reality check.

Don't count your chickens before you're hatched, you don't even know if you're going to PASS your test, let alone drive better. You might get a car, but why be proud of something that your parents gift upon you rather than earning it yourself? And if you think having a car means the cuties are all over you, you got another think coming. They aren't coming for you, they're coming for your car. You can have chicks like that. I'm not touching them, not even with a ten-foot pole.

Shit-for-brains classmates.

*rant over*

and so sleep threatens to take me.

As I end this day, my thoughts are tortured by what I have heard.

Pessimistically, I've got no chance. To be an optimist, all I can do is plug away at the problem and hope something happens. Will earnestness and persistence pay off, like Gerard is apt to say (and so he has proven)?

Stay tuned.

When we get somewhere in life, it pays to pause and consider how we got there. Who had helped us along the way. Kindness that should never be erased from memory. None of us should ever forget it. And help others the way they've helped us.

Dubbed a new MD disc today. Was getting sick of listening to Jay Chow daily.

Still in the Mandarin song frame of mind though.

A short discussion on IRC with a friend elicted a personal email circulated among his close circle of friends (that includes me).

Sort of like an epilogue that was longer than the chat itself.

One thing stuck in my mind - in times of need, you dip into a pool of resources. Be it friends, favours, equipment or cash, better make sure the pool is healthily full as much as you can. Even in casual times, it is good to build up a little war chest of resources. I suppose that's where the term "a little kindness goes a long way" comes from. I've not seen much of the world yet, being in school still, and all, and I'm pretty sure I've been taking more than I've been giving. Call me in the red, I think I am too. At least I'm growing aware and trying to be nice wherever I can. Gonna make this thing balance out, at least.

I don't get angry so easily nowadays. Product of my life? Maybe its better not to get so uptight anyway. Certain people who are being b*tchy or being impertinent get the fully monty from me though. No malice intended, just to give them back some of their own medicine. The more they try to irritate me, the more I ignore them and/or get amused by their efforts.

I didn't notice I've been a happy chappy lately.

Wonder why? Amanda says I just smile more than usual. Mindy concurs, and everyone else is thinking what happened too.

Hope this doesn't turn into a Joe Cool fiasco.

And I do think Jaguars are very nice cars......

Plans to do up my room has been shelved-

Mom and Dad don't have objections to me getting an overseas degree so renovating my room will be redundant at least for the next few years. Decide to save as much money as I can so that I can make my life over there easier.

Who knows I might even begin to sell some of my prized collectors' items......

Too shacked out to make a blog last night.

Or it just slipped my mind.

Aww, crap!

Fate determines who comes into our lives, but the heart determines who stays.

I forgot how it felt like to ride a bike offroad.

The ironic simplicity of riding a complex machine in nature's backyard.
Its just me, the bike, and the trail.
Feel the trail crunch below the tires, change the gears to match the gradient.
Sweeping past tree trunks, legs are a furious blur.
The heart pounds, a bead of sweat trickles down the brow.
Looking 12 feet up the trail, only to realize
I didn't see the buried log
That sends me sprawling
Bruised ego but otherwise uninjured,
The dirt gods welcome me back.

Interesting how I seem to be getting involved into with every girl I am in close proximity with. By some people's account, not mine. I don't know who these chaps are, but Mindy came around asking me if I'm interested in this girl. That's really rich. I hardly speak to her much less spend any time with her, and somehow I've been associated with her. I wonder why.

Are they concerned about me or are they just looking for a conversation topic (and I happen to be a convenient one)? For one thing, I'm not particularly desperate to get hitched with a girlfriend again. I'm not about to get a girlfriend just to fill a need; I have no trouble filling my time. If I get a girlfriend she's going to be someone I like. They really should be more concerned about schoolwork, I guess. Final semester and all that nonsense.

Currently reading a Dale Brown novel - Chains of Command.Your typical techno-war novel. Pretty interesting from my point of view. Still can't find the relevance in having a raunchy lovemaking scene in the scope of the whole story though.

Its been a long day and school was not pleasant.

I get the feeling my perception is being manipulated and skewed, and I don't like that. Rather than have my own views about a particular person, I feel swayed to conform to other people's perception. Does it matter what I think about him? I don't care how a person treats the rest of the world; I will find no trouble with him as long as said person doesn't mess with me. Just don't start......

Spent the school day mulling it over. Felt rather moody, and the lack of sleep didn't help. Somehow I managed to get a decent grade for the Finance test that happened today for which I hardly studied for.

An exercise in futility: rushing to school at 745am to wait around for a bus to take us to East Coast Park to listen to some pompous NParks officers talk about their park. What they covered could've been done in school with slides and such, because we spent two hours standing in the same place listening to an outdoors lecture. Such is bureacracy and gross wastage of time and resources. One wonders why Singapore hasn't been bled dry by people like that yet.

Dinner was on Zishin. Knowing full well I'd be leaving the Exco doesn't make it easier for me to still be privy to the Exco's inner workings and future plans. I feel like some spy or traitor. That despite the fact that I've already made known to him I'd be splitting off real soon. Does he know what we've got in the works?

Oh - California Pizza Kitchen sells great pasta.

Note to self: Keep the left hand guiding the darn basketball as I shoot it. Otherwise I might as well not play at all.

Still going over vacation plans with Boo. Suggested a driving holiday down under, he has a friend that lives there so we might be able to save on accomodation. It'll be summer down there though. Fricking hot. Heat is what I want to get away from.

I'm definitely not going to Thailand though. Too hot and humid. Unless its to slack away at a beach resort. Amanda and gang want to visit the Thai teens that came to Singapore last week.

I'm looking at the last semester in polytechnic. Sense of achievement? Maybe. I'm definitely overage as far as getting a headway in life is concerned. Been wondering if I'll be financially capable to leave immediately after graduation to get my degree done. The sooner I'm done the sooner I can start working. A bank loan is looking increasingly likely.

Recently have been getting too caught up by extraneous stuff that clutters up my life. Too much interpersonal relationships that take up time. My work deadlines are coming and that's what counts - Crank Bros Eggbeater review, 3rd year project, LPM report. NAPFA test to book and clear.

Sometimes in life ruffling other people's feathers is necessary, but I'm not going to ruffle more feathers than is necessary at this point of time. No point leaving everyone with a less than rosy picture of me when it comes time for us to go our separate ways.

As if on cue, the skies out of my southward looking window turn a nice shade of red that hints of impending rain as I am about to head to bed. A cool breeze that soothes and relaxes.

My Winamp's playing Glen Miller's In The Mood. Don't know what it is? Download it, or ask me for it. You might find it VERY familiar. To quote Jasmine, "Its one of those songs you find familiar but never manage to find out the title of".

I seem to be playing basketball 4 out of 5 days of the schooling week. Even on days I don't need to be in school. Like today. I no longer pant when I play. Am I getting fitter or am I getting lazy and running less? I need to work on my passing, it really sucks. Ghim Yew bought a pair of basketball boots, the price is good, it has an even shinier patent leather finish, but I think the color combo is pretty horrible. He must really like blue and its various shades...... he's getting better at basketball real quick.

Time to enjoy the cool weather.

I am a Walnut Tree:

Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree

WALNUT TREE (Passion) - unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise

The electric water heater broke down today.

I had to bathe like did when I was 16. That's like almost ten years ago. Yes, the water heater's time has come......

Anyway, skipping the explicit details, I still remember exactly how I bathed before the days of the electric water heater. How I filled up the water, tossed the towel into the tub, soap and lather.

All without hesitation, as clear as if it was yesterday. So natural, I surprised myself.

I guess some things, you never forget, and some things never change.

As part of my training to become the quintessential Sensitive New Age Guy, I learn floral arrangements once a fortnight. Here I've just completed a fruit basket arrangement.......

You can please some of the people, all the time,
All of the people, some of the times
But you can't please all the people, all the time.

The pinky finger on my right hand which I stubbed during basketball is swelling up nicely now. I doubt I'll be able to play basketball over the weekend.

At least I can still type with 9 fingers.

Its Friday evening - excellent. I think other people need the weekend more than me, I'm enjoying it all the same.

As I wait for dinner, here are some random ramblings:

I was going to say Thank God its Friday, but then that has some religious connotations. I'm not a religious person. My army dogtags state that I am a Buddhist. I put that down in my particulars because my parents are Buddhists. I don't subscribe to a particular religion, I'm not an atheist, either. I do believe that there is a God. Just not the one that you the reader might believe in.

I've been brought up on joss sticks, temple visits and offerings to the gods. Then I landed up in a Christian junior college. Over there, the only people exempt from attending Mass is Muslims. All others, Hindu, Buddhists or Taoists or whatever, have to go. Talk about religious freedom, huh?

For that one year, I'm exposed to a little slice of what it is to be a Christian. You know how sometimes the Pastor says, "If you feel God's prescence, raise your hands"? I never did feel it, even if I was waiting for a sign. I didn't shut out the preaching. I heard and I digested what was said. Then I looked at other religions. I looked at my own Buddhist religion from another view. I looked at Islam. Well basically I just shopped around. I still am.

Still without religion, but I do believe that for life to happen and develop to how it is today, the probability of that happening from random atoms is about the same as you tossing Lego bricks into a box, shaking it, and getting a finished model. Inifinitesimal. So there is probably a divine hand somewhere, or (here's the exciting part) aliens!

Maybe we're just a huge alien's experiment on a petri dish.......a microscopic bacterial colony to him......

I digress. It's dinnertime.

I've stared at an empty blog page for half an hour, tried to start half a dozen times. I can't put thoughts into cohesive words tonight.

Too many things and too few words available to say it with.

I am a techno-geek:

I want a PDA, a Nokia 7650 and a digital camera and since I am a techno-geek, I will not settle for entry-level models therefore I can only afford one of the three.......

Which should I go for? It's Shout Out time!

There is no classes again today. I still feel like I'm on holiday.......

Things that get on my nerves (in no particular order of merit):

- people whistling Hokkien tunes
- drumming with their fingers/feet against the same bench I sit on
- pedestrians who rush up to a zebra crossing so that drivers have to stop for them, and saunter their way across
- chaps who can talk the talk, but can't walk the walk - No action, talk only
- false friends - don't pretend to be my friend, alright?
- irritating mobile phone tunes
- passengers who can't move to the rear of the bus
- green-eyed monsters - can't stand to see other people better off than them and look for some way to put them down
- girls who act cute - just be yourself
- people who like to light up their cancer sticks in lifts - I choose not to get cancer like you will, so don't drag me in with you.

Added ShoutOut functionality to my page. Hope it works.

Got 8.5 out of 10 for our third year project literature review, am reasonably happy with it, but waiting to see how the rest score.

Played tourguide to a group of visiting Thai students for the afternoon. I stepped into Sri Manimanan(sp?) Temple in Chinatown for the first time. And I've been living in Singapore continously for the last 24 years. Ironic isn't it. Is it the same way with family and friends - the closer they are to you, the less you are inclined to pay attention to them?

Everyone should stick this on their computer monitor frame:
Arguing on the internet is like participating in the Special Olympics; even if you win, you're still a retard.

Little known fact about Leong: He used to be a grease monkey at a bike shop.

In between my army days and the starting of my polytechnic life, I worked for a bit as a bike mechanic. Yes, the kind that gets his hands all black, regularly gets cut by sharp objects, hauls things around like a labourer, and still have to be knowlegeable about bike stuff and be able to hold a decent conversation with the substantial portion of customers who are expats.

But I liked to get my hands on bikes. It didn't have to be thousand dollar items, even on $200 bikes, I derive satisfaction from tuning it up (they come from the factory partially disasembled) to the best of its capabilities. I like to feel the bike work, how each mechanical moving component responds to your control. The tactile sensation of the cable running in its housing, the feel of the brake pads grabbing the rims. The precise gear changes that careful set up and tuning brings.

Having worked in the line for less than a year, my grease monkey days aren't something I dare to bring up. There's other guys out there way more experienced than me. Having been humbled much more often than once with regard to my ability (not just in wrenching) taught me to keep my mouth shut. Taught me never to assume I was the best in a given environment. The proverbial big fish in the little pond, but you never know if there's a bigger fish hiding in the shadows. To just let your ability speak for you instead of your mouth.

Contemporary Quote for the day: Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Got no classes on Monday from now till the end of the semester. No Monday blues. No waking up with a scant half an hour to dive through rush hour traffic to reach school in time for Dr Goh's lesson. No wondering about undone homework.

Been playing a lot of basketball and riding a lot lately. The NAPFA test is coming up, mandatory for 3rd year students even if you've ORD-ed. Oh well. Hope I can do myself proud by hanging in there with guys 5-6 years my junior without collapsing in a heap, getting a stiff back, or any of a dozen other maladies. Their incentive would be two month's worth of exemption when the time comes to serve the nation, whereas my incentive is pride. Can't really figure out how to do the standing broad jump; never could get the technique right. 2.4km run is pretty average. Hope the recent few weeks helps in these departments. Anyway, as I see it, its a no-lose situation - if I don't do as well as the rest, I could always put it down to age, and if I do better than most, its a feather in my cap.

It's a nice thought to bring to bed with me.

Contemporary quote for the day: Sex is like air - its not important till you aren't getting any.

This is an alphagel: Organic gel with snail slime, aloe vera extract and permitted colouring and flavouring, with macaroni letters.

Joined a different clique for today, spent the day with them. Its rather different (not better not worse) than the usual bunch with which I spend my school days with. Can't say I didn't enjoy myself though I was out of sync with the flow of conversation sometimes.

Ikea's swedish meatballs aren't too bad though. I wonder what's in their gravy?

A little whisper in the dark

Monday, September 30, 2002

Saturday, September 28, 2002

Friday, September 27, 2002

Thursday, September 26, 2002

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

Monday, September 23, 2002

Friday, September 20, 2002

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

Monday, September 16, 2002

Sunday, September 15, 2002

Saturday, September 14, 2002

Thursday, September 12, 2002

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

Monday, September 09, 2002

Sunday, September 08, 2002

Saturday, September 07, 2002

Friday, September 06, 2002

Thursday, September 05, 2002

Wednesday, September 04, 2002

Tuesday, September 03, 2002

Monday, September 02, 2002

Sunday, September 01, 2002

About Me

Previous Posts

Archives