A little whisper in the dark

From the US GP 2003

"I don't think about finishing, I just do what I can."- Heinz-Harald Frentzen

posted by Chung Leong @ 4:58 PM 0 comments

The wheels are turning

Work starts in a little over one week. I'm even ready for it to start tomorrow, so anxious I am to leave all this behind and get some things done for a change. But October 6th's the date, and some things we can't really change, could we?

We try hard; but then we would have to leave it in the good hands of the powers that Be.

Some things, we just can't change.

posted by Chung Leong @ 1:43 PM 0 comments

Reckless abandon

Its about to rain; I can smell the impending rain shower. The slighly pungent smell that a sudden afternoon shower brings when raindrops hit the scorched cement.

And now the wind starts, the sky darkens.

Some people may choose to seek shelter when rain comes, like it were acid falling from the sky (in today's polluted environment it probably is), but rain also gives life to the landscape, from which all life flourishes.

Have you ever tried standing in the rain (whether voluntarily or not)? It is terrible at first to progressively get wet, and then you get to a point you cannot get anymore wetter than you already are. You realize it and you begin to take in the joy of being wet.

Perhaps its like the kids that play at the fountain at Bugis Junction. We might turn our noses at them, or secretly be envious of their lack of inhibitions, but have we asked ourselves why we lost it?

posted by Chung Leong @ 12:50 PM 0 comments

Is it daylight already?

The sky is lightening, just slightly.

Perhaps its because I have a job to look forward to now.

posted by Chung Leong @ 7:35 PM 0 comments

Stock Market News for Today

Still the occasional bear run, but looking a bit more bullish as the days go by.......

posted by Chung Leong @ 1:58 AM 0 comments

........., as surely as the sun will rise

And so once again (and all too soon) Night has fallen again, and the world is plunged into darkness.

I remember when I was 14 we had a solo-night exercise.

You got blindfolded, and dropped off in a piece of jungle all alone with nothing apart from your coat. Most significantly, no watches allowed so you could not tell the passage of Time.
You then had to sit tight where you were, and wait for morning.

Of course they'd prepped you with ghost stories all night at dinner before that, so that by the time you
went for this exercise, you were scared shitless.

So you spent the night trying to get thru it.

Some people played games with the stones they found there.


Others looked at the ground, afraid to look elsewhere for fear of seeing a ghost.
Others looked at the stars.
Other slept.
Others tried to sleep.

You could choose to do easy time (overcome your fears, and sleep), or hard time (scare yourself silly with
your imagination).

You could do anything in the night, but could do nothing to influence the Sun's rise.

The sun rose eventually when it did.

And maybe there's the other lesson : that it didn't matter what you did in the night ...... the sun would rise


when it would.

So now in the depths of depression, I can wallow and be blue, or I can attempt to rise above my misery
and what-not and be more productive, etc ..... But maybe it all doesn't matter ...... the sun will rise when it will.

Night will give way to Day no matter what you do to pass the Time.




:: The Zombie 02:58 ::

The above post, in its entirety, is not written by me, but by one of my friends who has been particularly inspirational in his writing as well as character and spirit. The intention is not to plagiarize but I am in the one who sits in the proverbial jungle now, awaiting daybreak.

posted by Chung Leong @ 12:48 PM 0 comments

Ever been a gambling person?

We have chips in life with which, as we go along, we occasionally gamble.

A bit like a capital investor, really.

You'd stake a few chips here if you liked, a bit more over there if you think its got a good prospect.

Just hoping that you'd get lucky on a few of them at least.

But, if you don't stake, you don't win.

What's life without going out on a limb and risking it, anyway?

posted by Chung Leong @ 2:16 AM 0 comments

Being honest?

I went to a job interview today, for a job that is pretty much a permanent job that utilizes my skills gained in my diploma course.

When asked about plans, I stated I did have plans within the next one year and that I would most probably leave.

Bad idea. I wonder how my chances are now.

posted by Chung Leong @ 4:30 AM 0 comments

I'm not having dinner at home

Part of what makes mothers, well, mothers, is that they have this innate intuition about their children. There are times when they miss, but they're pretty sharp.

My mom cottoned on to the fact that I'd a girlfriend (pretty obvious, the late night phone calls and stuff), how she'd figured out that she was leaving soon, that I was trying to spend all the time I could with her, that she didn't even grumble when I skipped dinner at home for days in a row, came home late at night, I don't know.

I'd told her this morning that I needed to have an early dinner because I needed to go out, and she casually asked if I was sending a friend to the airport? I said yes and had to turn away quickly lest she saw my reddening eyes.

I guess I have been in a rather fragile emotional state recently and this subtle hint that she cared was a bit too much for me.

posted by Chung Leong @ 1:37 AM 0 comments

Writing in another chapter

Comments from certain quarters, after reading my blog, encouraged me to write a book. Maybe it would sell? I don't know. But the market for it in Singapore is weak. As sad as it may sound, I might actually have to write under a Caucasian-sounding psedonym for it to gain some kind of acceptance. Not something I'd willingly do. I don't even have an English name for good reason. I'm Chinese, and I don't see why I have to defer to western culture.

In any case, in my life's story, I've written and concluded perhaps the most important, emotional and inspirational chapter thus far. The story has not ended by a long shot. I'm the writer and I say it is so. I've not lost hope in the story line yet to write out the characters out of the story.

posted by Chung Leong @ 5:38 AM 0 comments

Scoresheet for the day

I took my first trial SAT test today; I scored 520 for the Math component and 590 for the Verbal component. Rather disappointing but I skipped doing the last section; I was wondering why there was so many sections. So I suppose I'm good for 1100 points at least.

But I'm aiming for 1400. Got to work harder, then. The Math part could use a lot of help.

posted by Chung Leong @ 9:04 PM 0 comments

One small step for a man, a giant leap for.......

Well I've gotten myself signed up for SAT I test next month, on October 11th. It's time to get out the scientific calculator and refresh the stuff I forgotten about mathematics. It may be just a test, but seems like a pretty good standard by which tertiary students are judged.

It will be interesting to see how I compare. I'm curious to find out myself.

posted by Chung Leong @ 12:41 AM 0 comments

Coming to terms

Even the most difficult thing, with the benefit of understanding and communication, can be alleviated by sharing it. By having a clearer idea, I feel I can persevere.

I'm feeling better.

posted by Chung Leong @ 6:43 AM 0 comments

Its beginning to sound like the story of my life.

Just this morning I was dozing nicely in bed, dreaming a particularly vivid dream that I was taking an airplane ride to somewhere. I had a window seat, and I was busily taking pictures. I even remembered the runway looked fairly dirty. Just when the plane was about to turn into the take-off runway.......

The phone rang.

*poof*

Why does a good thing always dissipate when I am near the point of fulfilling it? Why can't the bloody phone ring like 5 minutes later?

posted by Chung Leong @ 4:50 AM 0 comments