A little whisper in the dark

Tied hands

After posting the previous entry, I surfed around a few of my friends' blogs and after reading one, I feel compelled to post again in my own Blog, as much for myself as for that friend. Maybe she will read it and maybe she won't; I don't know, and in truth it doesn't really matter. The apathy is so obvious that there doesn't seem to be any doubt. Perhaps that, as well as work-related stress, contributed to my dark mood of late.

How would you feel if person you loved, loves someone else? What would you do if she needs help, moral support, or whatever? Would you be doing it purely as a friend, or in the hope things would change?

Or would you walk away and hope the wrenching in the heart goes away?

posted by Chung Leong @ 4:02 AM 0 comments

Sign me up

Despite the uncertainty surrounding the issue of whether we can travel up to Cameron in the first place due to lack of a car, I am fairly surprised that I want to try out this trail which seasoned long distance riders like Gerard and Choon Teck are quite leery of. 47km of offroad. Doing 47km onroad is already pretty bad, but doing it offroad in the rarified air of the highlands makes it doubly difficult.

Perhaps its what Patrick terms a "character building" ride where it becomes a personal challenge to surmount one's perceived limits.

posted by Chung Leong @ 3:48 AM 0 comments

Taken for a ride

Tomorrow there is a cycling trip. Don't really know why I signed up, I do have my misgivings about the way the organizers run the event (no mobile phones, electronic devices; I have to leave my camera at home!, and no watches). Very military-style run of things. But as they say, won't know till you try. I'm trying, also trialling in preparation for the Cameron trip, trying to put in some long-needed mileage in my butt and legs.

In retrospect I might have joined Nelly's hall cycling expedition instead. Maybe. Sounds more fun, maybe more casual. But then on the road, you can't be casual its a sure recipe for mistakes.

I ran a cycling event before as an organizer ranting at people. I wonder how I'll feel as a participant. The shoe's on the other foot now.

posted by Chung Leong @ 1:29 AM 0 comments

Striking out

We cannot always expect a road to be laid for us. if the road is laid for us, someone has walked it already. Do you want to be the one making the road, or walking in someone else's footsteps?

posted by Chung Leong @ 12:38 AM 0 comments

Incommunicado

I've been away very long, haven't I?

I've found joy in taking pictures of late. Let's me forget, when I take a picture, I start thinking about how to compose the shot, the aperture size, the shutter speed, and other variables. Being a novice photographer, I tend to place more attention on things like that and not think about troubling issues.

Cycling still helps, but on the long, straight stretches, the mind still does wander.

Just a small selection of my photos.

Comments are welcome; either in Photosig, or in Shoutout.

posted by Chung Leong @ 2:01 AM 0 comments

Looking up, looking on

The recent few weeks have been really really odd. It may be a byproduct of my attachment job, becoming zombie-fied like the rest of the adult working population. It is rather different for me, at least from the vacation jobs I had in the past. I don't bring my work home, but by the time I do get home, I am rather drained and that includes emotionally. I don't feel sad to have thrown in the towel, just a certain emptiness. I am however fairly satisfied at having given whatever it was that had transpired, a proper closing of accounts.

Persistence didn't pay off, but I'm not sad to have spent that time waiting and hoping. Like a good friend would say, it is just a way to get through the night and closer to dawn. Or something to that respect.

posted by Chung Leong @ 2:53 AM 0 comments

A wise old man once said......

...... if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all.

posted by Chung Leong @ 3:15 AM 0 comments

How many Xiaoweis do you know?

I received an odd SMS message today, from someone calling herself "effie/xiaowei".

Now, I only know one Xiaowei, so I naturally assume that Effie is the name her other friends call her. I'm outside so I don't bother much. I do update the phone list, though. When I get home, I ask Xiaowei what sort of name is Effie? I mean, it's a pretty funny name. Eff. I "eff" you up. "Eff" off. The four letter word. I guess you get the idea.

Turns out that it was a wrong number. I mean, what are the chances of that happening? Perhaps with an English name, some John, Alvin or whatever you'd get a handful. I personally know 5 Alvins. But a Mandarin name? Really weird. Perhaps I will buy 4D or something. Perhaps its meaningful. Wait and see.

posted by Chung Leong @ 3:39 AM 0 comments

Round and round we go

Spent a nice afternoon on Sunday driving my RC car. The bad part about bringing a camera to the track is that if I'm driving, I can't take pictures of my own car. So I shoot other people's car. These cars are so darn zippy its hard for the eyes to follow them, let alone with a camera.

I got one, though.

posted by Chung Leong @ 2:34 AM 0 comments

Seeking escape?

I covered around 120km on my bike last week. I seldom ride that much in a month, let alone a week. And this is despite the fact I was down with a rather bad flu, plus my doctor didn't give me antibiotics. It came and went.

I didn't really think about why I went out riding. Not at that point of time. I did know I didn't want to go out with my friends to celebrate Christmas, or New Year's eve or anything like that. Right now, nothing really troubles me, but several issues are looming on the horizon. I don't lose sleep over it, but the point where I must decide still grinds closer. Matters of the heart though not urgent will still have to be resolved in the end.

I don't think much when I ride. Not onroad, not offroad. Have to deal with traffic onroad, and trail conditions when offroad. The proverbial two slabs of meat attached to the lower half of my torso that mindlessly pumps up and down to drive the bike. I control the bike. I am the bike's engine. But the bike encompasses my thoughts and emotion. Its probably a weird reason to be riding.

The issues remain, and I shall still be riding this weekend.

posted by Chung Leong @ 2:20 AM 0 comments